Can't Not Notice: Four Reasons I Am Unproductive

It is hard to have CNN on in the background and remain focused on my job search with so many handsome anchors announcing big leaks, showing off their new expensive gadgets, and slowly articulating words with pursed lips.




There's Anderson Cooper, who, unfortunately, follows the pattern of all my favorite crushes, and is not after us ladies.





So you have to settle for his straight counterpart, Anderson's doppleganger, aka John King.








This is my new favorite reporter, and yet I can't remember a single story he has reported on...Hmmm...




















T.J. Holmes, stop seducing me with your gorgeous green eyes! How can I feel the pain of whatever new sob story you're talking about, when you're looking in my eyes, wearing a smart suit and making me smile everytime you do!







Runners Up (David McKenzie, Cal Perry, Rafael Romo, Mike Wave--whose accent makes up for his seriously messed up nose) :